Reconciliation and the recovery from trauma is an ongoing process without clear end points or timelines.

Many adults today are still living the pain of the past in the present, such as Moses Totalik, who has struggled with addiction, mental health, and moving through the foster and group home systems under guardianship the vast majority of his life.

SA国际影视传媒淚 didnSA国际影视传媒檛 know I was in a system until I was at least 20,SA国际影视传媒� says Totalik, who was recently successful in his application to leave yet another group home and live independently in Ontario.

He said he was brought into the foster care system at two years old when he was taken from his mother, who died last year of cirrhosis of the liver after being a lifelong addict.

Totalik still has family he sees once a year in Nunavut.

SA国际影视传媒淭he connection is still there, itSA国际影视传媒檚 just weaker,SA国际影视传媒� he said.

Completely disconnected from his family and heritage at a young age, where he was once fluent in Inuktitut, Totalik mentions one group home in Alberta where he was compelled to speak only in English.

SA国际影视传媒淚 lost my language ... I canSA国际影视传媒檛 speak Inuktitut [anymore]. I donSA国际影视传媒檛 sound Inuk," he said. "At almost 30, it hurts me to not understand what my Elders are saying to me. Now I have to get a translator to speak for me. I spoke fluently. I had full conversations with my grandparents when I was young."

Becoming emotional, Totalik said there's one thing that really hurts.

"My grandfather told me he doesnSA国际影视传媒檛 recognize me when I speak,SA国际影视传媒� he said.

The meaning behind that, added Totalik, is that his grandfather is speaking metaphorically and literally.

SA国际影视传媒淚t sounds like a judgement," he said. "ThatSA国际影视传媒檚 what I think because he meant it, and I think it brought him memories because he went to residential school. I hope he does understand [why].SA国际影视传媒�

Totalik said his grandfather never shared his experiences with him.

SA国际影视传媒淗eSA国际影视传媒檚 very good at hiding his emotions,SA国际影视传媒� he said.

The parallels between what his grandfather in Gjoa Haven endured and what Totalik has gone through two generations later are stark.

SA国际影视传媒淚tSA国际影视传媒檚 just like residential school,SA国际影视传媒� said Totalik of the current foster care system. SA国际影视传媒淭hey take people away. It has the same results. So I was relocated from Gjoa Haven to Ottawa [for foster care], thatSA国际影视传媒檚 like what, 1,200 kilometres? 1,500?. I canSA国际影视传媒檛 imagine what happened when their kids were taken.SA国际影视传媒�

For Totalik, the effects of his youth still haunt him to this day.

SA国际影视传媒淚 donSA国际影视传媒檛 know the culture anymore," he said. "ISA国际影视传媒檓 so used to city life that itSA国际影视传媒檚 like culture shock again over and over when I visit Nunavut. The problem is I donSA国际影视传媒檛 want to go back anymore, I donSA国际影视传媒檛 see any resolution to this unless they end my guardianship.SA国际影视传媒�

Totalik is under court-mandated guardianship after his addiction problems led to him pleading guilty in a drunk-driving incident where he pulled over on the shoulder inebriated and then waved down help. Although he has moved on from the group homes after years of self-advocacy efforts, he is still legally a ward of the Nunavut government.

Totalik considers himself to be a SA国际影视传媒渟tolen childSA国际影视传媒�, and calls the foster and guardianship system, for which he is now petitioning for his release "Residential School 2.0."

SA国际影视传媒淭hey just control all aspects of my life. My finances, what I do healthcare-wise, they took my tongue away,SA国际影视传媒� he said. SA国际影视传媒淭hey took my voice away. ISA国际影视传媒檓 trying to reclaim my heritage. I try to talk to my grandparents regularly in my language. ISA国际影视传媒檓 not the best at it, but I try.SA国际影视传媒�

Totalik is also also currently undergoing therapy after being diagnosed with PTSD.

Because of what he said he went through during his childhood, there's a disconnection from his heritage that has fractured his understanding of reconciliation history and efforts to overcome generational trauma, a question that Totalik has no answer for.

SA国际影视传媒淚 donSA国际影视传媒檛 celebrate Canada Day,SA国际影视传媒� he said. SA国际影视传媒淚tSA国际影视传媒檚 the trauma after reading what happened. The images.SA国际影视传媒�

If there's something that governments can improve on, especially when it comes to foster care, Totalik suggests more listening to those affected.

SA国际影视传媒淟isten to the children,SA国际影视传媒� he asks of policymakers. SA国际影视传媒淟isten to the people. I want them to learn about what itSA国际影视传媒檚 like. I guess what ISA国际影视传媒檓 trying to say is I want them to see my perspective. Continue fighting for what you love, and youSA国际影视传媒檒l get there.SA国际影视传媒�