Like many people who struggle with addiction, there were many factors that went into Nunavummiuq Moses TotalikSA国际影视传媒檚 dark journey through substance abuse.

It evolved following a breakup from his first major relationship. Suddenly, TotalikSA国际影视传媒檚 dabbling with alcohol and marijuana took a serious turn for the worse. Occasionally partaking socially morphed into increasing secretive abuse, and the then-22-year-old was convicted of driving under the influence. Although Totalik pulled over safely and avoided hitting anything after his vehicle ran out of gas, his licence was revoked, despite it being a first offence. He was charged with being involved in a SA国际影视传媒渟ingle vehicle collision.SA国际影视传媒�

SA国际影视传媒淚 donSA国际影视传媒檛 remember all of it,SA国际影视传媒� he admits. SA国际影视传媒淚 just remember putting my hand outSA国际影视传媒� apparently I tried flagging people down. After that, I remember the solid bed in the jail cell and the breathalyzer.SA国际影视传媒�

That incident became the catalyst that sent Totalik on a downward spiral of addiction.

SA国际影视传媒淗onestly ISA国际影视传媒檓 not sure what I was thinking that day [in jail] because it was so many mixed feelings for meSA国际影视传媒� heart-broken, guilt, shame.SA国际影视传媒�

He then deliberately took the plunge into harder narcotics such as cocaine, Xanax, and fentanyl. Rather than a wake up call, the DUI pushed him into a darker place of desperation and hopelessness. He became further involved with the drug crowd, and used social media to make contacts in his search for relief from his mental anguish.

After moving to Ottawa, it became all too easy to find what he wanted on the street, particularly Byward Market, an area he has to avoid now due to triggers. An average day consisted of starting by smoking marijuana, snorting coke SA国际影视传媒渙nce every two hoursSA国际影视传媒� and inhaling micro-doses of fentanyl once every six hours or so.

This went on for about six months before Totalik, who hails from Gjoa Haven, reached out for help and moved into a group home and sobriety program. He now lives in a more relaxed facility, although he still has 24-hour supervision, has to turn in his electronic devices at night, and is under guardianship that oversees every aspect of his life.

SA国际影视传媒淲hat theySA国际影视传媒檙e really looking for is that ISA国际影视传媒檓 good, like ISA国际影视传媒檓 taking my meds and that I eat,SA国际影视传媒� Totalik said. He also holds down a job as a cleaner.

Addiction and the system: SA国际影视传媒淭he new residential schoolSA国际影视传媒�

Now 27 years old, Totalik recounts his experiences SA国际影视传媒渦nder the systemSA国际影视传媒� since age four, when he was removed from an allegedly abusive situation in a home where alcohol was abused. He considers himself to be a SA国际影视传媒渟tolen childSA国际影视传媒� who went through 15 or more foster homes.

SA国际影视传媒淚 lost count,SA国际影视传媒� recalls Totalik. SA国际影视传媒淭hey were different homes all around Nunavut, so it was traumatizing. You donSA国际影视传媒檛 know who these [foster parents] are or what their background is. I call it the SA国际影视传媒榥ew residential school.SA国际影视传媒橲A国际影视传媒�

He added that he considers his history and background to be factors leading to his addiction problems.

During his DUI court case, his court-appointed counsellor suggested guardianship. Deferring to the advice of his lawyer, and with no prior knowledge of what he was getting into, Totalik went along with the decision.

How much his guardianship has helped his recovery process is unclear.

SA国际影视传媒淏eing a guardianship client really limits my ability to live independently. They think ISA国际影视传媒檓 going to go back to my old life, and thatSA国际影视传媒檚 not really my intention anymore,SA国际影视传媒� he said. SA国际影视传媒淚tSA国际影视传媒檚 difficult to deal with because those are the reasons I became an addict. I had no control [over my circumstances].SA国际影视传媒�

In addition, he mentioned that in a group home for recovery in Alberta, speaking Inuktitut was forbidden.

SA国际影视传媒淚SA国际影视传媒檝e lost my heritage. I donSA国际影视传媒檛 speak my mother-tongue. I donSA国际影视传媒檛 sound Inuk,SA国际影视传媒� he said.

The same feelings of cultural isolation, loneliness and lack of agency are all important factors when considering the complex puzzle that is addiction and its causes.

He feels that his support workers are just being paid, rather than genuinely invested in his well-being and recovery.

SA国际影视传媒淚 wish I could restart my life and say no to guardianship.SA国际影视传媒�

However, this young man has made great personal strides to overcome the demons that have plagued him and the circumstances that hindered his success from an early age.

SA国际影视传媒淪tability takes a lot of courage,SA国际影视传媒� Totalik said as he reflected on his harrowing journey to sobriety. SA国际影视传媒淭hereSA国际影视传媒檚 a lot of times I wish I could go back, but I look at where I am right now. It really changed my perspective on life. ISA国际影视传媒檓 pretty quiet most of the time. But [getting sober] gave me the resilience to come out of my own shell.SA国际影视传媒�

He also mentions a close friendship forged with an Inuk woman he met while in an Alberta treatment centre. SheSA国际影视传媒檚 an Iqaluit resident who continues to aid him as a lifeline of support.

His advice to others who are struggling is to SA国际影视传媒渞each out when you need help because there is someone who will actually listen.SA国际影视传媒�

In five years time, Totalik can contest his guardianship. His ultimate goal is SA国际影视传媒渇reedom in the future for me, which I donSA国际影视传媒檛 have right now.SA国际影视传媒�

He also contends that in his ideal world, SA国际影视传媒淚SA国际影视传媒檇 definitely be living my own life, doing my own thing at this ageSA国际影视传媒� SA国际影视传媒� free of the many constraints of guardianship that affect all aspects of his life.

While Totalik wishes to be a cautionary tale to others, heSA国际影视传媒檚 also an example of someone who can, despite adverse circumstances, overcome what life has thrown his way.