You're cruising along in your vehicle when suddenly you notice you're almost on empty... and the nearest gas station is 10 miles away.
You start to panic because you're also in the middle of nowhere and have no cell service (sounds like a drive to Edmonton doesn't it?). You're holding your breath as you slide into the gas station, gas light blazing. Phew! You made it. You happily fill your tank and you're on your way, anxiety levels down and singing along to the music.
The same thing happens in your relationship when you're not paying attention. Life is busy. You're taking kids to sporting events, have a demanding job, and your partner is unavailable, also dealing with everyday life. You notice a decline in intimacy but push it aside for more urgent matters and let it slide. This is the red light in your relationship coming on. The noticing is the first indication and first opportunity to put the brakes on, and fill the emptiness in your relationship. Yet, you ignore it and figure you still have time to circle back and address it later. Days and weeks go by and that red light is still on but the feeling that something is wrong grows and there's an urgency behind it.
This is neglect within the relationship and, yes, both partners have a responsibility to see it before it spirals out of control, resentment builds and anger boils up.
So, what can you do to keep things alive and spicy in your relationship? It's actually pretty simple.
Notice the above scenario and how it can relate to your relationship. Now notice when you do connect with your partner. Communication is open and honest, feelings are shared and emotional connection is restored. Both of your tanks have been refilled. You're feeling happier, lighter and completely bonded with your partner. You've been heard and needs are met, you've heard your partner and are able to meet their needs, and the relationship and intimacy continues to be strong.
Perhaps intimacy has gone from long nights (and days) of play to prioritizing sleep and independent projects. You may be months or years into a marriage and the dry spell is real along with tiny slices of resentment built from needs not being met, faulty communication and not making your relationship a priority. You can hit reverse, repair and restart.
It takes two to tango and it's OK to start today if you're noticing a decline within your relationship. The first step is noticing, asking the other for a sit-down meeting and being vulnerable about your needs and what you see happening within the relationship.
Most people want good, healthy relationships, so, hopefully, your partner will be reciprocal and reflect your openness and vulnerability. Maintaining this connection is very important once the initial meeting has established goals within the relationship. Keeping full tanks throughout the relationship SA国际影视传媒� not just when problems arise SA国际影视传媒� takes seeing the warning light and doing something about it immediately.
We all know what happens when we run completely out of gas. There's a frantic need to refuel and sometimes you're left in the middle of nowhere with no help in sight.
