Every year, on Feb. 14, couples enjoy extra special time together. It's also a time that kids may send candygrams to their friends or secret crush. Many people do something a little extra to make someone else feel special.

Something that I've noticed over the years is that sometimes, Feb. 14 is the only day a good deed may be done in a relationship. The days leading up to and past it are regular life. We have been moulded to put efforts into special occasions, spend the extra time and money, yet, the rest of the year, relationships may be ignored and foundations crumbling. Why save the date to express your love and not show it every single day in some way?

It's the small things

Your loved one brings you coffee at work or offers to rub your feet. You get a rush of pleasure, feeling cared for and important in the relationship. Mail you've been meaning to send off has been sitting on the counter for over a week. You're too busy to stop in and mail it. Your partner takes it and does it for you, taking that task off your plate. You feel so much gratitude and relief for the extra help. Long hugs and loving words are exchanged the moment you walk in the door. Your body relaxes and you feel safe and connected.

It really doesn't take much to make someone else feel special on any day of the week, not just special occasions. I have written about love languages before. Become familiar with your partner, your child, and your friends' love languages. Act on them and serve them how they like to be served. Those that are in tune and present will feel the warmth of the gesture and reflect that back in the relationship.

How the big things get magnified

The problem with waiting for special occasions such as Valentine's Day to profess your love or adoration is that it's too obvious that extra effort has gone into making someone else feel special. This can come off as forced actions, fakeness or a duty you must act on.

I've counselled couples who resented the fact that their partner only showed real interest in them on occasions such as birthdays and Valentine's Day. They felt it was a forced display and not genuinely from the heart. Once they learned each other's love languages and showed each other the love that resonated within them, their relationship changed and it became one of genuine interest, adoration and respect for one another.

Go ahead and make this Valentine's Day incredible. Shower your loved ones with much praise, gifts and time spent together. Just remember that love isn't a one-time expression and relationships are hard work. The reward, by consistently doing your own daily work, is immeasurable.