Sibling relationships can be complicated already SA国际影视传媒� after a messy inheritance, they can get worse.

Josh ShelukSA国际影视传媒檚 best advice to parents is to make their estate plans simple and transparent, and to communicate them clearly. But thatSA国际影视传媒檚 an ideal scenario and not necessarily the norm, said the portfolio manager for Verecan Capital Management.

SA国际影视传媒淟et me start with saying this: roughly half of adults in North America donSA国际影视传媒檛 have a will,SA国际影视传媒� Sheluk said. SA国际影视传媒淥f the half that do have a will, ISA国际影视传媒檇 say thereSA国际影视传媒檚 probably a roughly even split between ones that go very, very well, and ones that have some complications or issues associated with them.

SA国际影视传媒淭here are often, way too often, surprises along the way or complications that arise,SA国际影视传媒� he added.

Since parents are in control of the process, children might be left in the dark and potentially picking up the pieces during an emotional aftermath. The best bet for siblings is to communicate with each other SA国际影视传媒� if the parents havenSA国际影视传媒檛 done so SA国际影视传媒� especially if one child has more information.

SA国际影视传媒淚n many situations, you might have one sibling that is the executor of the estates, and the other is not,SA国际影视传媒� Sheluk said. SA国际影视传媒淪o just being transparent SA国际影视传媒� that other sibling is not going to have access to the same information as the individual whoSA国际影视传媒檚 the executor.

SA国际影视传媒淗aving that executor lay things out in a very transparent way, communicating along the way, showing the other beneficiaries. Saying: SA国际影视传媒楬ere is what assets exist. HereSA国际影视传媒檚 where we are in the process. HereSA国际影视传媒檚 the tax bills that need to get paid.SA国际影视传媒橲A国际影视传媒�

With rare exceptions, all of this information should be legally shareable. Patience with the process and each other is also a wise practice, Sheluk added, as sometimes it takes years to settle an estate.

Not all siblings get along, however, said Tracey McLennan, director of the client consultation group at Edward Jones Canada. There could be childhood dynamics and resentment that has lasted into adulthood which might come into play within the will. Siblings may even be estranged.

SA国际影视传媒淚 think that thereSA国际影视传媒檚 an opportunity (to have) a bridging conversation, if youSA国际影视传媒檙e able to reach out and say, SA国际影视传媒楬ey, I know itSA国际影视传媒檚 been years. I know that weSA国际影视传媒檝e not connected, but Mom and Dad, theySA国际影视传媒檙e getting a little older SA国际影视传媒� ISA国际影视传媒檇 really love to use this as an opportunity for us to reconnect and have some conversations,SA国际影视传媒橲A国际影视传媒� McLennan said.

Reaching out may not work for every sibling, she noted, but individuals can at least keep up on their own roles and responsibilities, including seeking professional advice.

SA国际影视传媒淢aking sure that youSA国际影视传媒檙e informed, making sure you know your responsibilities, making sure that youSA国际影视传媒檝e got the information that you need, whether youSA国际影视传媒檙e executor or not executor, and attempting to get the outside assistance you may require,SA国际影视传媒� McLennan said.

Often, settling estates require tax, legal and financial planning advice, she added.

If thereSA国际影视传媒檚 a vacuum of information from the parents, it may be natural for children to fill that gap with assumptions or potential reasons for decisions in the will. McLennan has seen children SA国际影视传媒渂lindsidedSA国际影视传媒� by inheritances and witnessed the aftermath as siblings blame each other.

SA国际影视传媒淪ometimes, if we donSA国际影视传媒檛 have enough information, we fill in the back story, and we might be wrong,SA国际影视传媒� she said. SA国际影视传媒淪ometimes we take what we receive as a proxy for love: SA国际影视传媒楳om loves you best. She left you the business, she left you the farm, she left you more.SA国际影视传媒橲A国际影视传媒�

But thatSA国际影视传媒檚 a mistake, McLennan said, as there are many considerations that children may not realize. In her conversations with parents, they are also concerned about their children being negatively impacted by an inheritance, and they often look at other members in the family, not related by blood SA国际影视传媒� such as spouses.

Ideally, parents should have communicated their intentions clearly to avoid any misunderstandings, McLennan said, but when thatSA国际影视传媒檚 not the case, avoid the blame game, avoid relationship breakdown. Support your sibling, communicate, and keep the family together SA国际影视传媒� the latter is a priority, she added.

SA国际影视传媒淲hen we speak with parents, actually, one of the things I often hear is, SA国际影视传媒楻egardless of the wealth, regardless of what we want to have passed on, we want to make sure that our family still can get together for the holidays,SA国际影视传媒橲A国际影视传媒� McLennan said. SA国际影视传媒淭hatSA国际影视传媒檚 actually the most important thing.SA国际影视传媒�

Despite these sentiments, parents unfortunately might not understand how their reticence to discuss their estate plans will actually play out for their children, according to Sheluk.

SA国际影视传媒淚 hear a lot from parents, SA国际影视传媒楳y kids get along well today, theySA国际影视传媒檙e going to be just fine with whatever happens in the will,SA国际影视传媒橲A国际影视传媒� he said.

SA国际影视传媒淚 think thatSA国际影视传媒檚 totally the wrong mentality and perception to have SA国际影视传媒� Money does weird things to people, especially during high-emotion times, and that can lead to your kids who have previously had a great relationship to not having a good relationship anymore.SA国际影视传媒�

SA国际影视传媒擝y Nina Dragicevic, The Canadian Press